Often when a relationship is on the edge of failing, you will hear someone asking, “how did we get here?” Unfortunately, this is something that could have been avoided at the beginning of that relationship. You could have pointed it out to your partner or opt out of the relationship. Most of the times you notice red flags or things you don’t like even before you start dating.
So, why do you ignore these signs only to end up regretting later?
You are deeply infatuated
This is probably the most common reason for ignoring these red flags. When you are deeply infatuated, all you see is how much this person is perfect. You miss to see all these other things that make them human. I know I’m all for focusing on the positive but in this case, be wise and call them out on the red flags.
Afraid of being called paranoid or over thinker
Another reason we ignore red flags is because we fear being told that we are over reacting. Often the significant other might use these as a form of being manipulative. By telling you that you are overthinking, you start thinking that perhaps they are right and you are wrong. The people around you can also be telling you that you are just being paranoid. My advice for you is to listen to your instinct and act accordingly.
Because you want to “see the good”
Sometimes in order to lead a positive lifestyle we look for the good in every situation. This way no matter how bad things get there is always something good that will keep you hanging on. This being the case, we tend to stick in toxic relationships in hopes that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We forget that not all people are inherently good and if we keep looking for the good in them we might just end up draining ourselves both mentally and emotionally. This doesn’t mean that you should stop believing in the goodness in people, It just means that that particular person isn’t for you. A person who loves you and cares for you genuinely would not put you in a position to second guess them.
You are too trusting
Trust is a fundamental principle for a flourishing relationship. When the foundation of the relationship is laid on trust, the relationship has a high likelihood to succeed. This being the case, sometimes you can find yourself trusting too easily. I have been guilty of this a couple of times and it led me to some unpleasant situations. Out of this, I learned something that will stick with me forever. “Trust peoples actions, If a person tells you A and does B, trust B because that is who the person truly is.” In the beginning of a relationship, we are so carried by our emotions we forget to watch out for these things. Before you place your trust in a person, make sure they earned it.
You moved too fast
Another red flag that most people ignore is when your partner wants to get into a relationship with you a bit too fast. You aren’t given the time to know who that person is. Normally when this is the case, it is likely that the person has some characters they are “hiding.” They would rather you know about after you are already in a relationship to avoid losing you before locking you down. So next time if this is about to happen, just back down slowly. Let the other person know that you need time to get to know each other better. If they refuse you that option, then you have no reason to stay there.