Pickmesha! / 5 signs that you are a pick me kind of a girl

Judging from the heading, you probably already know what or who a pickmesha is. For those questioning, a pickmesha is the type of a woman who is easily available to anyone. It is the kind of woman who has low standards, little expectations and very easily swayed. It doesn’t have to be all of these but one or a combination of these characteristics. So, let’s talk about how to spot a pick me kind of a girl.

How low are you lowering your standards?

There is a difference between standards, expectations and preferences. Unfortunately most of us fail to recognize the differences and as a result settle for much less than what you imagined. A good example of standards is ” getting a man who is financially secure.” This sounds like a cliche but it is actually an important standard for many. It shows you care about the kind of future you have with this man. Can he provide for the family? This a standard that shouldn’t be overlooked but a pickmesha will come in and give this up. With sayings like I can provide for the family, I can hold my man down, I have my own money and so on… This puts her in a position of being taken advantage of by dusty men.

Set your standards high, let these men have something to work for. Being a Pickmesha will leave the man thinking that he can get what he wants easily and that kind of attitude is a turn off for some of us. Let them know you have some class.

Dating single men

Girl! Please STOP! Stop giving into these kind of men. What am I talking about? No I don’t mean that you date married men. That is messed up! I mean stop dating men who don’t recognize your presence as their girlfriend. How long have you been going out sis, 6 months? Oh, it is just 6 months of hooking up and talking? And he still ain’t committing? With your two wholesome legs darling, walk out and don’t look back. If he had the intention of “wifing” you, he wouldn’t need much time to be committed to you.

Sis, Are you giving more energy than you are receiving?

Stop right there! this is straight up sending desperate vibes. Trust me you don’t want that. It might seem cute at first but when it is a trend, you might come off as needy. I don’t care how hot or how much he has but if he does not do the bare minimum like sending good morning texts, initiating conversations, checking up on you regularly and anything you consider important to you, then I don’t get the point of being in such a relationship. I mean, is it not mentally exhausting to always be the one who cares?

Always available?

The fastest way to get a man to lose their interest in you is by always being available. You are always there when something comes up. You will literally forego doing something you enjoy just to go to him. Girl get a life. And I mean it. Get a hobby or something. Make him find some mystery in you. Men love solving mysteries and puzzles. When you are always ready for him, he’ll have nothing to keep him interested. For this reason, a pickmesha will be “dumped” in less than a month. He figured you out already and he’s onto the next one. Be interesting and have some boundaries. You get me?

Easy to impress

Listen, when a man does the bare minimum, stop acting like he’s an angel sent from heaven. Why would you be impressed because he paid for dinner? Is that not expected of him? Only a dusty will ask you to pay and we are not about that kind of man here. Stop glorifying men for taking their responsibilities. Normalize these very normal behaviors. Women are natural receivers and men are natural givers, so when you find yourself playing the role of the giver, hmm, that might rise some eyebrows. A gentleman’s actions are what determine if he is worth the title. Let him do something that is actually impressive for you to be impressed. It is that simple.

My intention is to help my fellow women to yearn for better. Not to just settle for what presents itself first. Evaluate before you make a long term decision.

Photo credits: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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